Let The Bitching Begin.

You know those people who just can't help but nitpick over bad grammar and ruin your favorite movies by pointing out everything wrong with them? Well, I'm one of those people. I marvel at the cosmic joke that is the "bestseller", Twilight, and I cannot fathom how The Fountain has not been recognized for the true work of genius that it was. JK Rowling is second in my mind only to Stephen King, even though she's a far more fantastically skilled author and he scrapes by on what I lovingly refer to as "Stephen King Authority" (the ability to write absolutely ridiculous nonsense and have readers lap it up like warm cream). I liked Eragon better when it was called Dragonheart / Star Wars / Lord of the Rings / Pirates of the Caribbean / The Cheysuli Chronicles / Dragonriders of Pern, and I will go to my grave insisting that The Dark Knight is completely overrated.

So after ten years of absolutely ruining books and movies for my friends and loved ones, I've decided to take my show on the road and subject innocent web-surfers to the rants and raves of a self-righteous English major with an axe to grind.

The good thing about being so damn overly analytical and so very obsessed with all things literary (and literature-translated-to-film) is that I know my way around an editor's pen, and I've learned a fair bit about creative writing, argumentative writing, and the writer's market, including querying agents and publishers and preparing works for submissions. I've been published in several literary anthologies and even have a novel under review with a major fantasy and sci-fi publishing house, and I love trying out new writing exercises. So peppered in with the bitching I'll probably be able to offer some great constructive advice and suggestion in the realms of creative and/or persuasive writing and maybe even share a couple of notes on the editing or submitting process. Who knows, there may even be a point buried somewhere within all this overly-analytic hooplah. With that in mind, I hope you'll bear with me through the ranting and occasional throwing of the more craptastic books and DVDs (and believe me, the Twilight series is going to have its name written on more than a few dents in my walls), and enjoy a look at some real literary analysis and some good creative shop-talk.

Hello, interwebs. I'm here and I'm ready to bitch.